The first mistake a newly engaged man makes is to believe and follow the ‘accepted norm’ that women relish planning their wedding and all men have to do is nod and say yes to everything and figure out a way to pay for it. While this ‘customary norm’ does not necessarily guarantee divorce down the road, it certainly serves to steer you in that direction from the get-go. Why? Because women want their men to be more than just the man in the tux at the alter and they want them to actually SHARE in the planning of their special day.
Men hear this and want to run in the opposite direction – thinking ALL sorts of conflicts will ensue if they try to share in the planning. Or that they will be over ruled every step of the way anyway. Women however will tell you that they want their future spouse to be involved in the planning – not always in the decision making, but at least in the planning. This carries forward to their married years also – men who are distant from family decisions tend to be less supportive. And in the end, this is what most women want above all else – support. Even if you don’t agree, it is better to go through the decision making process together than to leave one party with all the decisions. If for no other reason than the one decision maker gets tagged with all the blame if something doesn’t work just perfectly. Many a bride has burned themselves out before the honeymoon ever arrives because they had to do ‘everything’.
Weddings are NOT something most men growing up desire to plan. For many, the sheer enormity of the planning makes them ill. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Many men realize that just engaging in the process pleases their future bride and tends to smooth the relationship road over the long term, a road that we all know can get quite bumpy. Listening and communicating are traits most women say they desire in a man and the smart man is one who offers these from the very beginning of the wedding planning process. This process is most likely going to end with a lot of ‘give and take’, so the best plan is to start giving and taking early on and establishing a wholesome pattern for the rest of your married life.
David C. Reynolds is an author and longtime veteran of the Hotel business who offers common sense, money saving travel tips and advice. He also writes on relationship issues and co-authored a honeymoon budget book. He now invites you to explore the wedding planning process and learn how this vital communication issue can be enjoyed by all parties. Go to http://www.theweddingplanningguru.com
